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 Pyro's Drell application

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Monsieur Combustion

Monsieur Combustion


Posts : 15
Join date : 2016-08-19

Pyro's Drell application Empty
PostSubject: Pyro's Drell application   Pyro's Drell application EmptySat Aug 20, 2016 2:17 pm

Steam Name: Monsieur Combustion
Steam ID:  STEAM_0:0:55004841
Steam Profile Link: http://steamcommunity.com/id/Praisethegreatergood/
Age: 18
Rp Experience: I've been roleplaying for something close to two years, maybe just one. I've spent almost a year on SBRP, and several months playing servers created by Euro (Spooky tanuki?)
How did you stumble upon our server?: I've seen a couple screenshots from Revenant and Hyane, along with seeing Euro and Hyane playing on the server.
Tell me a cool Mass Effect Fact: Drell have two sets of eyelids, along with the ability to shed tears. While in the second game, the NPC's blinked with the second set, in the third they didn't. (This wasn't a cool fact I guess. I'm just a cuck.)

Character Name: Iyutfu Niun (Prefers to be called Mia.)
Character Race: Drell
Why did you choose this race?: I chose this race because I considered them interesting- Themselves being snake(lizard?)-Reptile people.
Age: 23
What can your character do for our ship? (Muscle, Maintenance, Triggerman, Comedic Act, etc.): Cook/Nurse
Character Equipment:Leather overcoat, Cosmetic helmet (with bonus tinted lenses because they're albino.), shin guards, nurses outfit, medical supplies.
Moral Alignment: (See Chart) Neutral
Strengths: Two sets of eyelids, Minor venom, medical knowledge(amateur-professional), cooking knowledge(amateur-professional), wiry strength.
Weaknesses: Fear of combat, fear of guns, fear of pain, fear of death, Albino.
Character Backstory a.ka. how or why are you here (One paragraph minimum, be creative!): Iyutfu Niun was a simple, average Drell born on the Hanar home planet of Kahje, though, she didn't look average. Her scale pigmentation had become an albino white, and her eyes a pinkish-red. She spent several years growing, as a child would. But she always had eye issues, caused by the albinism no doubt. She wore the equivalent of sunglasses everywhere, fearing for her eyes. After serving a Hanar family for a few years, she decided to leave, to go in search for a life among the stars! Though, this was standard for most young people. But she had to wait, deciding the get an education in medical knowledge and cooking, though neither professionally. She didn't spend long in the outside world, or..Worlds. Soon enough, she was low on money. Seems that nobody wanted a nurse or a cook. She looked for work everywhere, before finding an ad for crew on "The Geisha." She decided this was best for herself, as she couldn't find any other work, so she set out to join their crew days later. Hoping to find her place among the stars.
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Monsieur Combustion

Monsieur Combustion


Posts : 15
Join date : 2016-08-19

Pyro's Drell application Empty
PostSubject: Re: Pyro's Drell application   Pyro's Drell application EmptySun Aug 21, 2016 2:06 am

Side note, could anyone give me feedback on this? I'm not too good at making backstories from scrap, or writing applications.
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SavingPrivateGandhi

SavingPrivateGandhi


Posts : 34
Join date : 2016-07-21
Age : 24

Pyro's Drell application Empty
PostSubject: Re: Pyro's Drell application   Pyro's Drell application EmptySun Aug 21, 2016 8:52 am

I definitely think that the backstory requires more detail, especially for a character such as a Drell. Maybe more specific events that occurred during the servitude of the Hanar family, or things that happened to her whilst she was wandering looking for work. After adding these details, I would space the backstory so that it was set into two or three different paragraphs about different parts of her life. Just some advice, but you have good foundations at the moment, and this character sounds very unique. Very Happy
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[Legion]
Admin
[Legion]


Posts : 187
Join date : 2016-04-20

Pyro's Drell application Empty
PostSubject: Re: Pyro's Drell application   Pyro's Drell application EmptySun Aug 21, 2016 1:19 pm

Pyro's Drell application Tumblr_mhw0itIfGd1rsyoeko1_r2_1280

But wouldnt the second set of transparent eyelids act as "sunglasses"? Just my small little thing. Other than that, welcome aboard.
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Monsieur Combustion

Monsieur Combustion


Posts : 15
Join date : 2016-08-19

Pyro's Drell application Empty
PostSubject: Re: Pyro's Drell application   Pyro's Drell application EmptySun Aug 21, 2016 3:01 pm

I'll flesh out her backstory more in her diary/journal, and maybe do some of it IC.
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